Book Resources for Parents
Figuring out where to find quality resources for parenting can be very overwhelming! This post lists 15 books (and 2 websites and a podcast!) that have helped me so much on my parenting journey! I broke it down into a few categories, included my thoughts on the book, and the overview of each book. You can click the link or the image of the book to buy it.
Parenting Philosophy
The Awakened Family (Dr. Shefali Tsabary) : This book started my journey into viewing parenting differently. It shows you how your children can help heal the childhood wounds that are still in you and help you become a more whole person.
“All parents have aspirations for their children but for some these hopes turn into unrealistic expectations. In many cases, this puts huge amounts of pressure on children and has the potential to cause real harm, hindering your child's development.
Challenging modern myths on how kids should be, Dr Shefali helps parents recognise children for who they truly are instead of holding onto society's impossible ideals.
Drawing on Eastern philosophy as well as Western psychology, Dr Shefali offers enlightened, practical advice and explains her radically transformative plan which guarantees that you have confident children and a calm and emotionally connected family.”
Everyday Parenting Tips and Techniques
Between Parent and Child (Dr. Haim G. Ginott): This book has totally “upped” my parenting game! I have learned so much from Ginott’s simple, yet profound, suggestions in parenting. This is an easy, quick read but packed full with thoughtful tips in being a respectful parent. I HIGHLY suggest this book!
Over the past thirty-five years, Between Parent and Child has helped millions of parents around the world strengthen their relationships with their children. Written by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, this revolutionary book offered a straightforward prescription for empathetic yet disciplined child rearing and introduced new communication techniques that would change the way parents spoke with, and listened to, their children. Dr. Ginott's innovative approach to parenting has influenced an entire generation of experts in the field, and now his methods can work for you, too.
Based on the theory that parenting is a skill that can be learned, this indispensable handbook will show you how to:
• Discipline without threats, bribes, sarcasm, and punishment
• Criticize without demeaning, praise without judging, and express anger without hurting
• Acknowledge rather than argue with children's feelings, perceptions, and opinions
• Respond so that children will learn to trust and develop self-confidence
Now Say This (Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright): This may be my favorite parenting book I have read! It creates simple steps to handling the hard moments of parenting and I have seen an incredible change in my family!
“Language is powerful and the exact words, tone, and non-verbal communication parents use when trying to move through a stuck moment with their child means everything. Now Say This guides parents through the authors highly practical approach to effectively communicating with children, which they call ALP, also known as Acknowledge, Limit set, and Problem-solve. Now Say This also discusses the power of words in all of our daily conversations. Each chapter addresses a different aspect of parenting (i.e. bedtime, mealtime, sibling conflicts, body conversations, and more) and includes actual scripts and precise language for parents to use to set limits with empathy and use conversations as opportunities for learning”
Dear Parent: Caring For Infants With Respect (Magda Gerber): Magda Gerber is a wealth of knowledge! Her book radically changed how I view newborns and babies. I wish I had read it sooner!
“Internationally renowned infant specialist Magda Gerber, M.A., the founder of RIE, offers a healthy new approach to infant care based on a profound respect for each baby's individual needs and abilities.”
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen (Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish): This book gave scripted examples of conversations that may occur between a parent and child. I found these real life experiences really helpful! Each chapter comes with an assignment that helped me take the time to reflect and figure out how to apply their techniques and beliefs to my family.
“Parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish provide effective step by step techniques to help you improve and enrich your relationships with your children.
Learn how to:
· Break a pattern of arguments
· Cope with your child's negative feelings
· Engage your child's co-operation
· Set clear limits and still maintain goodwill
· Express your anger without being hurtful
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully”
How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen (Joanna Faber & Julie King): I found this book so helpful! It focuses on children ages 2-7 and I needed those specific ages! It was also written by the daughters of the authors of the book above so they talk about how being raised with this intention made them who they are today! I love being able to see the long term results of parenting in this way!
“For over thirty-five years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its respectful and effective solutions to the unending challenges of raising children. Now, in response to growing demand, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, tailor How to Talk’s powerful communication skills to children ages two to seven.
Faber and King, each a parenting expert in her own right, share their wisdom accumulated over years of conducting How To Talk workshops with parents and a broad variety of professionals. With a lively combination of storytelling, cartoons, and fly-on-the-wall discussions from their workshops, they provide concrete tools and tips that will transform your relationship with the young kids in your life.
What do you do with a little kid who…won’t brush her teeth…screams in his car seat…pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables…throws books in the library...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized according to common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential emergency first-aid manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders.”
Brain Science/Development
Beyond Behavior (Mona Delahooke): I love reading about brain science and this book went into depth about what is going on with my kids! I will say, there were parts that were a little wordy and I had to reread a few paragraphs but it was worth it! She also has some worksheets and activities to do with your kids to help them understand what is going on in their brains and that has been very useful with my kids!
“Drawing on 30 years of experience, internationally known paediatric psychologist Dr Mona Delahooke describes these troubled behaviours as the 'tip of the iceberg', important signals that point to deeper, individual differences in the child that we need to understand and address before we can resolve behavioural challenges. Using the very latest neuroscientific research Beyond Behaviours makes the case that many children who can't seem to behave simply don't have the developmental capacity to do so - yet.
This book uses neuroscientific findings to help you deconstruct behaviour challenges, and to discover their cause and triggers for your child. It will show you how to apply this knowledge across a variety of behaviour spectrums, from children diagnosed with autism or other forms of neurodiversity, to those who might have been exposed to toxic stress or trauma during their early years. There are practical strategies to implement at every stage, backed up by impactful worksheets and charts, with a strong emphasis not on 'managing' behaviour, but instead on helping children and families build positive experiences to counteract the stress and pressure felt by everybody when you're working, or living, with a child who has behavioural challenges.”
Whole Brain Child (Daniel Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson) : This is a great resource in learning about how a child’s brain works without feeling like you’re reading a text book! There are so many scripted responses and examples to help make it relatable.
“In this pioneering, practical book for parents, neuroscientist Daniel J. Siegel and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson explain the new science of how a child's brain is wired and how it matures. Different parts of a child's brain develop at different speeds and understanding these differences can help you turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child's brain and raise calmer, happier children.
Featuring clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child will help your children to lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives using twelve key strategies, including:
Name It to Tame It: Corral raging right-brain behavior through left-brain storytelling, appealing to the left brain's affinity for words and reasoning to calm emotional storms and bodily tension.
Engage, Don't Enrage: Keep your child thinking and listening, instead of purely reacting.
Move It or Lose It: Use physical activities to shift your child's emotional state.
Let the Clouds of Emotion Roll By: Guide your children when they are stuck on a negative emotion, and help them understand that feelings come and go.
SIFT: Help children pay attention to the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts within them so that they can make better decisions and be more flexible.
Connect Through Conflict: Use discord to encourage empathy and greater social success.”
Discipline
No Bad Kids (Janet Lansbury): Janet Lansbury has been a MAJOR influence in my parenting! She answers so many parenting struggles with a calm presence. I wouldn’t recommend buying this book because it is word for word her blog posts (which are FREE on her website: Janet Lansbury).
I HIGHLY recommend listening to her podcast: Unruffled. Each week, she answers a parenting dilemma in a short and simple way and I have been able to apply her advice with my family! You can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts.
“Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As a RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her twenty years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. “No Bad Kids” is a collection of Janet's most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. “No Bad Kids” provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children’s eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.”
No Drama Discipline (Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson): This is another book by Siegel and Bryson that I highly recommend! I have gone back and read through this book a few times and reference specific struggles when I forget how to handle something. This really focuses on how important connection is before correction.
“Your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of a store. Your preschooler refuses to get dressed. Your eleven-year-old sulks on the bench instead of playing on the field. Do children conspire to make their parents’ lives endlessly challenging? No — it’s just their developing brain calling the shots.
In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson demystify the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The ‘upstairs brain’, which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain.
By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. With clear explanations, age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles, and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.”
Out of Control (Shefali Tsabary): This book helped me change my perspective on what discipling could look like and my role in helping my children. She also has solutions for specific situations that arise with children.
“Every parent wants the golden key to raising well-behaved, academically gifted, successful, happy children. Embedded in our collective psyche is the notion that discipline is the cornerstone to achieving these goals. This book lambasts this notion, offering a never-before-published perspective on why the entire premise of discipline is flawed. Dr. Shefali Tsabary shows that the very idea of discipline is a major cause of generations of dysfunction. Out of Control goes to the heart of the problems we have with our children, challenging society's dependence of discipline, daring us to let go of our fear-based ideologies and replace them with an approach that draws parent and child together instead of alienating them. The key is ongoing meaningful connection between parent and child, free of head games such as threats, deprivation, punishment, timeouts?indeed, all forms of manipulation. Parents learn how to enter into deep communion with their children, understanding the reasons for a behavior and how to bring out the best in the child. Far from a laissez-faire anything goes approach, this is how a child learns responsibility and takes ownership of their life, equipped with character and resilience that flow naturally from within.”
Siblings
Siblings Without Rivalry (Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish): I feel like you can’t have too many books that focus on siblings! This book has a lot of great tips and practical applications.
“Already best-selling authors with How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish turned their minds to the battle of the siblings. Parents themselves, they were determined to figure out how to help their children get along. The result was Siblings Without Rivalry. This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding--much gained from raising their own children--Faber and Mazlish explain how and when to intervene in fights, provide suggestions on how to help children channel their hostility into creative outlets, and demonstrate how to treat children unequally and still be fair. Updated to incorporate fresh thoughts after years of conducting workshops for parents and professionals, this edition also includes a new afterword.”
Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings (Laura Markham) : This books focuses on the forming deep connections with your children and helping them do the same with their siblings.
“Popular parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham, author of PEACEFUL PARENTS, HAPPY SIBLINGS, has garnered a large and loyal readership around the world, thanks to her simple, insightful approach that values the emotional bond between parent and child. As any parent of more than one child knows, though, it’s challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain harmony and a strong connection when competition, tempers, and irritation run high.
In this highly anticipated guide, Dr. Markham presents simple yet powerful ways to cut through the squabbling and foster a loving, supportive bond between siblings, while giving each child the vital connection that he or she needs.
PEACEFUL PARENT, HAPPY SIBLINGS includes hands-on, research-based advice on:
• Creating deep connections with each one of your children, so that each truly believes that you couldn’t possibly love anyone else more.
• Fostering a loving family culture that encourages laughter and minimizes fighting
• Teaching your children healthy emotional self-management and conflict resolution skills—so that they can work things out with each other, get their own needs met and respect the needs of others
• Helping your kids forge a close lifelong sibling bond—as well as the relationship skills they will need for a life of healthy friendships, work relationships, and eventually their own family bonds.”
When It’s Just Really Hard
Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Carla Naumburg) : I found this book so helpful when I was constantly getting triggered by my children. Naumburg goes into the different reasons why we lose it and what we can do with our triggers.
“Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help readers feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.”
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids (Laura Markham): Laura Markham has so many great points in making a more peaceful home! Her website, AhaParenting, is in incredible resource for all your parenting struggles!
“Based on the latest research on brain development and extensive clinical experience with parents, Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.
This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.
If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.”